Sometimes I think I’m crazy, like I’m over exaggerating. So, I hardly complain and if i do; it’s just to myself or to a piece of paper or word document. I like to make sure I’m not making this all up in my head, but now, realistically... I just want someone to help me, instead of me always helping others. Yeah, I always tell myself I want to be the change others want to see in the world, and that I enjoy helping others, but I’m just starting to get !@##%!*... tired? frustrated? I’m not sure. It feels like no one can help me. I ask, but I’m not receiving anything in return. Yeah, it’s good to give, instead of receive; but as humans, we all need to receive. I’m just getting tired. I’m young. I shouldn’t feel tired.
You can't just make me jump lower. It's always been one of my advantages, especially in basketball. So, don't think I'm going to jump incredibly low for cheer.
I get that you're mad that you're not a flyer, but really? You're still not over that? Wow, and I know you're trying to help, but you're saying the same thing over and over again. Plus, half of the time you say something, you're just being bossy and putting your fault on me or someone else. Yeah, I know I'm not fixing what I did wrong right away, but it eventually comes. Also, I appreciate that you can be nice to me face to face, but just know that I know what you say when I'm not around. That's just rude, disrespectful, and pathetic. You're jealous, angry, etc. Jealous of some of the girls on All-Star. Angry at the fact that you're stuck basing. Well, how about you shut that mouth of your's and step your game up. Take action. Show coach what you got. Show everyone.
Friendships are more important to you than ever, and you are rightfully proud of the fact that you've grown into a supportive, wise and caring ally for those special people in your life. Right now, someone you care about is going through some tough times -- and you don't know what to do about it. This helpless feeling is normal, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. They have to help themselves right now. All you can do is make it clear to them that you'll be there when they need you.
You bad mouth the family here to your family in the Philippines. You're rude to my cousins here in America, but you're a fucking angel to my cousins in the PI. You disrespect my friends and yell at them for the smallest things. Oh, and you do the same thing to my cousins. Half of the time you're yelling at me, instead of politely asking me what you want me to do. When I respond with an "I don't know," because I truly don't know you mumble to yourself something in Tagalog, while mocking me at the same time. You call me crazy, but it's pretty obvious who the crazy one is. You. You've threatened my cousins, brother, mom and I more than once already. We were even extremely close to a fist fight, but luckily my mom was there to pull you away, while I stood there waiting for you to throw a hit. You bad mouth my cousins' mom just because she's made some bad choices in her life. At least she's kindhearted and trying to get herself together, while you, on the other hand, are a mess. Call me crazy, rebellious, a smart ass, short tempered, disrespectful, rude, a Martos & not a Sacol, whatever, because I don't care what you think about me. Yell, disrespect, or mess with my cousins/ in any way - I'll defend them every single time. Just like all the other times, I'll be their voice because they know if they speak up to you, they won't be able to come back. Threaten my cousins/brother/mom, and you sure as hell threatened me, too - meaning I will stand up to you. So, if you hit me, don't be shocked that I hit you back. Tell me you're going to call the cops - go ahead because you're the one holding a weapon in your hand, while I'm just trying to defend myself. Tell me, "Go ahead. Call the cops because I kill myself. I'll kill you, then I'll kill myself" - Kill yourself. At this rate, I can careless.
& some people ask me how I can be so mean to you. It's pretty obvious I don't have any respect for her, but I'm kind to her family in the Philippines even though I she's not kind to mine. I send them my clothes. I talk to them on the phone and on facebook with kindness. My parents send them money every month and are paying for one of the kids' tuition, and most of that money is my mother's, who's not even their blood relative. And some people question my attitude to her. Blasphemy.
Dec. 26, 2010 Horoscope:
You've tried to be patient and you've done your best to be understanding. At this point, you really don't know what else to do. It seems obvious that someone you've been friends with for some time has misrepresented themselves in a great big way -- but there may also be something serious going on that you don't know about. Before you give them the boot permanently, try to get them to talk about what's really going on.
You're all mean and nasty to me, then the next second you're all nice - but only because you want me to do something for you or you want something from me. FTS.
This is probably the only place (besides my journal) where I don't feel blocked. Everywhere else, I feel limited. My deeper thoughts are on here, and I don't hesitate posting them. I don't know why, but it feels really good to have a place where I can express myself easily.
Am I your last resort? If so, then get the fuuh out. I don't need you, and being your last resort, it's obvious you don't need me. Kay, bye.