riceandmangos's posterous http://riceandmangos.posterous.com Most recent posts at riceandmangos's posterous posterous.com Sun, 13 Feb 2011 18:32:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/42979610 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/42979610

Sometimes I think I’m crazy, like I’m over exaggerating. So, I hardly complain and if i do; it’s just to myself or to a piece of paper or word document. I like to make sure I’m not making this all up in my head, but now, realistically... I just want someone to help me, instead of me always helping others. Yeah, I always tell myself I want to be the change others want to see in the world, and that I enjoy helping others, but I’m just starting to get !@##%!*... tired? frustrated? I’m not sure. It feels like no one can help me. I ask, but I’m not receiving anything in return. Yeah, it’s good to give, instead of receive; but as humans, we all need to receive. I’m just getting tired. I’m young. I shouldn’t feel tired.   

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Thu, 06 Jan 2011 21:43:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/38841202 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/38841202

You can't just make me jump lower. It's always been one of my advantages, especially in basketball. So, don't think I'm going to jump incredibly low for cheer. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Wed, 05 Jan 2011 21:52:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/38719824 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/38719824

I get that you're mad that you're not a flyer, but really? You're still not over that? Wow, and I know you're trying to help, but you're saying the same thing over and over again. Plus, half of the time you say something, you're just being bossy and putting your fault on me or someone else. Yeah, I know I'm not fixing what I did wrong right away, but it eventually comes. Also, I appreciate that you can be nice to me face to face, but just know that I know what you say when I'm not around. That's just rude, disrespectful, and pathetic. You're jealous, angry, etc. Jealous of some of the girls on All-Star. Angry at the fact that you're stuck basing. Well, how about you shut that mouth of your's and step your game up. Take action. Show coach what you got. Show everyone. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Fri, 31 Dec 2010 13:19:00 -0800 I need to keep this in mind. http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/i-need-to-keep-this-in-mind http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/i-need-to-keep-this-in-mind

Friendships are more important to you than ever, and you are rightfully proud of the fact that you've grown into a supportive, wise and caring ally for those special people in your life. Right now, someone you care about is going through some tough times -- and you don't know what to do about it. This helpless feeling is normal, but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. They have to help themselves right now. All you can do is make it clear to them that you'll be there when they need you.

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Mon, 27 Dec 2010 18:01:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/37652339 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/37652339

You bad mouth the family here to your family in the Philippines. You're rude to my cousins here in America, but you're a fucking angel to my cousins in the PI. You disrespect my friends and yell at them for the smallest things. Oh, and you do the same thing to my cousins. Half of the time you're yelling at me, instead of politely asking me what you want me to do. When I respond with an "I don't know," because I truly don't know you mumble to yourself something in Tagalog, while mocking me at the same time. You call me crazy, but it's pretty obvious who the crazy one is. You. You've threatened my cousins, brother, mom and I more than once already. We were even extremely close to a fist fight, but luckily my mom was there to pull you away, while I stood there waiting for you to throw a hit. You bad mouth my cousins' mom just because she's made some bad choices in her life. At least she's kindhearted and trying to get herself together, while you, on the other hand, are a mess. Call me crazy, rebellious, a smart ass, short tempered, disrespectful, rude, a Martos & not a Sacol, whatever, because I don't care what you think about me. Yell, disrespect, or mess with my cousins/ in any way - I'll defend them every single time. Just like all the other times, I'll be their voice because they know if they speak up to you, they won't be able to come back. Threaten my cousins/brother/mom, and you sure as hell threatened me, too - meaning I will stand up to you. So, if you hit me, don't be shocked that I hit you back. Tell me you're going to call the cops - go ahead because you're the one holding a weapon in your hand, while I'm just trying to defend myself. Tell me, "Go ahead. Call the cops because I kill myself. I'll kill you, then I'll kill myself" - Kill yourself. At this rate, I can careless. 

& some people ask me how I can be so mean to you. It's pretty obvious I don't have any respect for her, but I'm kind to her family in the Philippines even though I she's not kind to mine. I send them my clothes. I talk to them on the phone and on facebook with kindness.  My parents send them money every month and are paying for one of the kids' tuition, and most of that money is my mother's, who's not even their blood relative. And some people question my attitude to her. Blasphemy. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 17:38:00 -0800 Why does this seem so pertinent to me right now? http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/why-does-this-seem-so-pertinent-to-me-right-n http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/why-does-this-seem-so-pertinent-to-me-right-n

Dec. 26, 2010 Horoscope:

You've tried to be patient and you've done your best to be understanding. At this point, you really don't know what else to do. It seems obvious that someone you've been friends with for some time has misrepresented themselves in a great big way -- but there may also be something serious going on that you don't know about. Before you give them the boot permanently, try to get them to talk about what's really going on.

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sun, 26 Dec 2010 17:25:00 -0800 I don't like that crap. http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/i-dont-like-that-crap http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/i-dont-like-that-crap

You're all mean and nasty to me, then the next second you're all nice - but only because you want me to do something for you or you want something from me. FTS. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sun, 19 Dec 2010 23:57:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36925391 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36925391

This is probably the only place (besides my journal) where I don't feel blocked. Everywhere else, I feel limited. My deeper thoughts are on here, and I don't hesitate posting them. I don't know why, but it feels really good to have a place where I can express myself easily. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sat, 18 Dec 2010 23:12:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36833357 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36833357

Am I your last resort? If so, then get the fuuh out. I don't need you, and being your last resort, it's obvious you don't need me. Kay, bye.

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Thu, 16 Dec 2010 20:56:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36634429 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36634429

Mail
I wish I knew who put this in my phone. It's sort of cute. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Thu, 16 Dec 2010 20:45:00 -0800 Something different http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36633980 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36633980

No more confession of feelings. No telling others about how you might be interested in someone. No looking at each other as each other’s future epoch-making other. Just simply starting off as friends and letting that friendship buildup. Letting that friendship build onto intimate terms, or possibly stay the same. It’s time for something new. 

 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Thu, 16 Dec 2010 19:23:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36629578 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36629578

The feeling of being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. I think I forgot what it feels like. I don’t remember what it feels like to love that significant other. To have that deep affection and devotion. To have that warmth when you’re with them and that attachment. In the last two relationships, the relationship ended right after an “I love you,” or right before it and yeah, part of it was my fault. I just didn’t feel that spark, or have the same feelings as in the beginning. I felt like it wasn’t a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, only a friends with benefits thing, but there was commitment. I want to know what it feels like to fall in love, and be in a long term relationship. I want my next to be the one: friend, best friend, lover, boyfriend, then when the time comes - husband. It’s a lot to ask for, and I’m trying my best to be patient.

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:18:00 -0800 Recent thoughts. http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36173991 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36173991

Lately, nothing is as quite as real as it seems. I've been turned off by commitment, and I've sort of became heartless. I let things just float right pass me and put up with attitudes and bs. I sometimes seem to have no sense of feeling. I let go easily. If you mess up once, I’ll usually forgive you. If you mess up again, I’ll automatically be done with you,  tell you it’s okay, and forgive because I was taught to do so. Then, as I have time to think and process my thoughts I usually find myself not wanting anything to do with you. You’re pretty lucky, if I still want something to do with you. I don’t know what’s become of me. There’s some people I have tolerance for, but I noticed I have low tolerance for people I’ve recently encountered. Maybe I need more “Me” time. I hardly get any now that people are always at my house and constantly bothering me to help them with school stuff and what not. I usually don’t mind helping people, but it feels as if no one can help me or doesn’t want to. Sigh. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sun, 12 Dec 2010 03:06:00 -0800 3:06 AM. http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/306-am http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/306-am

Why am I still awake? Oh yeah, just had the urge to finish Inception, and every time I fell asleep I would rewind to where I last left off. Had to do that like 2 or three times. It was definitely worth it, though. Spent my Saturday baking cookies with Jasmine, and doing community service at St. Viator for the bake sale and presentation of the nativities. Then, took the bus to townsquare, ate a 220-B at Johnny Mcguire's and just chilled. Listened to this one lady at Borders, she had some good lines to sing. Anyways, off to bed. I'm tired, sort of. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos
Sat, 11 Dec 2010 09:14:00 -0800 Untitled http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36038349 http://riceandmangos.posterous.com/36038349

Have my Hawaiian music streaming into my ears with shoulders that are a little sore from gymnastics, but I'm just happy it's Saturday. It may not be a long weekend, but this past week just felt so long. I was out of it yesterday. Couldn't find myself to focus on the subject of the class and was lacking sleep every single day of this week. I just needed a day or two to sleep in and to have at least a small feeling of relaxation. Thank you Saturday for finally coming. 

Permalink | Leave a comment  »

]]>
http://posterous.com/images/profile/missing-user-75.png http://posterous.com/users/1kLnZ9vTiCAh riceandmangos riceandmangos riceandmangos